More Funny Jokes

One night a guy takes his girlfriend home, after kissing each other goodnight at the front door, the guy starts feeling a little horny, with an air of confidence he leans with his hand against the wall and smiling he says "honey will you give me a blowjob?"
Horrified she replies "Are u mad?, my parents will see us!"
"Come on, who's gonna see us at this hour?" he says
"No please can u imagine if we get caught"
"Oh come on there's nobody around their all sleeping"
"No way its to risky"
"please please please, I love you soooo much!" the boyfriend begs
"I love you too but i cant its too risky"
"Please im begging you !!" just then out of the blue the light comes on upstairs and her little sister appears and in a sleepy voice says "Dad says to give him a blowjob or I can do it or if need be mum says she can come down herself and do it but for fuck sake tell him to take his hand off the intercom!!!"



A man goes to confession and says " forgive me father I have sinned, last night I made love to twins half my age in positions I think that are illegal" The priest thinks for a few minutes and says "Buy 7 lemons squeeze the juice into a glass then drink it!"
"will this cleanse me of my sins" asks the man
"No" replies the priest "But it will wipe that fucking smile off your face"



A Dwarf goes into a bar and says to a women "I can give you the best ride of your life" Curiously she goes home with him and before she knows it she is screaming with ecstasy, she says " your amazing " the dwarf repllies "thats nothing you wait till i put me ohter leg in!!"



One dark moring black as night,
I was woken up so full of fright,
Right behind me I could hear,
A noise which drenched my soul with fear,
With trembling hands switched on the light,
My buttocks clenched extremely tight,
I turned and screamed for what I saw....................
Was what I shagged the night before!!!!!!!



3 Office girls in a lift notice a stain on the wall,
the redhead says "that looks like spunk!"
The brunette says "Smells like spunk too!"
The Blond licks it and says "Well its nobody from our office!!"



Think your having a bad day ? ? ?
Imagine this :
Your a siamese twin joined at the hip,
your brother is gay but your not,
His lover is coming over and you are the only one with an arsehole !!!!!





General Brother Admiral
Australian SWAT Team
Bravo Base, Australia